Because I am such a big believer in boudoir as a transformational and empowering experience, I decided it was time to “walk the walk” and book a session with one of my biggest inspirations in the industry: Julie Socher. I saved up, flew to D.C., and stepped into my clients’ shoes for a day. And I am here to tell you: IT. WAS. NOT. EASY.
I have a new appreciation for everyone who trusts me enough to book a session with me and spend an afternoon in the studio. I mean, once you’re there, nerves fly out the window and it’s the most fun you’ll ever have. But GETTING THERE? Takes a leap of faith for sure.
I 1000% trusted Julie and am the biggest fan of her work, but as soon as I was the subject, nothing but doubt crept into my mind. “I don’t look like the women in her portfolio.” “I never like images of myself, so there’s no way I’m going to like these.” Again, this had nothing to do with my faith in Julie, but rather my own insecurities and inner criticism.
Clients always assume that because I’m so good at seeing beauty in others and hyping women up, that I must have tremendous self-esteem. And that’s just not the case. It’s BECAUSE I struggle with body dysmorphia and shy away from the camera that I’m able to minister to clients and meet them where they’re at. Because I get it. Truly. Society has given us these unrealistic expectations of what we should look like, and we are conditioned from a young age to see “flaws” when in reality, we are a MASTERPIECE (this is Julie’s mantra and I couldn’t agree more).
I had a couple months to prep for my session with Julie. When I booked, I felt confident. But that confidence slowly dwindled as we got closer to the session. I stressed about outfits. I tried on things from my closet that used to fit and freaked out when I realized many of my clothes wouldn’t fasten. I bloated like crazy. As I was trying on new items in Aerie, a woman in the dressing room asked if I was pregnant. NO JOKE. I about had a meltdown. And when I got to D.C. and showered, something about the hotel water wreaked absolute havoc on my typically very predictable hair. I showed up to the session the next morning with a texture on my hair that I’ve never had before, and I just wanted to cry.
When I tell you that I left that session feeling like THE hottest girl in the world, I am not kidding. And that confidence stuck with me for MONTHS. And when I look at these photos, I am reminded of that feeling, and that is priceless.
The road to self-love isn’t linear, and it isn’t always easy, but it’s a road worth pursuing constantly. And I truly believe a boudoir session is one of the best steps to help on that journey. One of the best gifts you can give yourself. So… take the leap. Freak out, panic, and show up with all the nerves… but I got you. And I promise it’s 100% worth it.
[[ ALL IMAGES BELOW: COPYRIGHT 2023 BOUDOIR BY JULIE SOCHER ]]
Check out my boudoir work here.
And yes, I also posed nude, and it was exhilarating, but I’ll keep this blog post more tame. ;)
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